What is a Proportional Relationship? Learn more from Healthier Me Today! When it comes to relationship advice, we’ve often heard the term that a relationship should be 50/50. Many, however, believe this to be wrong. When you’re in a relationship, no party should only be giving half, but rather their full 100%. When both parties give their all, the relationship is deemed proportional and has the best likely chance of success.
What is a Proportional Relationship – Am I in One?
Inequality in relationships is one of the reasons they most often fail. When those in a relationship don’t take time to consider each other’s needs, the relationship will not work. One-sided love and affection also have no place in a relationship. The best thing for yourself and your relationship is to go through the below relationship red flags which indicate relationship inequality and, therefore, disproportion.
Either You or Your Partner Makes all the Decisions, but Never Both
It’s important to assert your needs in a relationship. Take being sick. For example, if either you or your partner has been sick, the healthy one might need to pick up the slack. This does not ultimately mean that the relationship is unequal or disproportionate. However, if you are the one dictating where you’ll eat lunch every week, that shows disproportion and inequality in your relationship.
It is, however, not always possible to be sure whether or not you are dominating the relationship. In order to make find out, you can ask yourself the following questions:
- Who always decides what we’ll do on weekends, my partner or me?
- Who always makes the decision of which friends we’ll go to, my partner or me?
- Who decides when we’ll have sex, my partner or me?
- Do I, or does my partner decide who will do the housework?
The above answers will act as a guide on whether or not it is time to have a discussion about inequality in the relationship. DIY projects may help you and your partner work on splitting the decision making in your relationship. The projects will help you both practice compromise, and you’ll have the opportunity to learn about each other in a relaxed environment.
There is no Compromise During a Disagreement
Disagreements are fairly normal in any relationship and don’t automatically indicate that you aren’t meant for each other. The important part is to find a solution that is acceptable to both partners. For this to work, both partners need to be comfortable making compromises. Competing with each other’s needs is not the way to go. There will always be disagreements in the relationship, but being able to find compromises will make these disagreements respectful. If you and your partner are in disagreement, with your partner refusing to compromise, tell your partner how that makes you feel. It’s important to note that no one’s opinion is more important than the other, and if the unhealthy behaviour continues, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.
Payment Falls Upon One Partner
When a relationship is proportioned, the costs of dates should be split or alternated within the means of each partner. If your partner insists on paying for most dates or outings in the relationship, there is no problem. As long as your partner is not doing so in order to get love and affection from you, there is no problem. If your partner shows discomfort with paying for everything, yet you still expect them to, it might be time to look in the mirror and reevaluate your behaviour.
The Last Word Always Falls Upon One Partner
When you’re in a healthy relationship, partners should be able to freely express themselves during an argument or disagreement without feeling dominated by the other. When your partner is voicing their opinion, don’t shut them down. Instead, why don’t you try to use this as an opportunity to get to know them better. Winning the argument should never be the aim… Instead, the goal should be to gain a mutual understanding of the issue at hand if you’re afraid of disagreement between you and your partner in fear of facing severe criticism or angry responses. It may be a telltale sign that it’s time to walk away from the relationship.
Building a Proportional Relationship
In a newer relationship, there are ways to ensure that you’ll both be equal contributors. This may work for longer relationships as well if both partners are set to improve. Relationships require hard work but shouldn’t feel like it. When you both work together and want to work together, your relationship will reap the benefits.
Ways to ensure that your relationship is based on equality:
- Respect should be your number 1 priority: Proportional relationships are only now becoming a modern occurrence. When couples respect each other, they ensure that they’re on an equal playing field.
You can do this by:
- Openly communicating
- Ensure you use kind words to speak to each other
- Giving each other support
- Compromising
- Listening without interruption
- Respecting the boundaries set by your partner
When a relationship lacks respect, they are often extremely toxic. This is why it is best to ensure that respect is the basis of your relationship.
2. Ensure you and your partner’s needs are equally important: Every person has certain needs that need to be met. It can be argued that there is in fact nothing more damaging to a relationship than sharing your feelings and having them shot down by your partner. Healthy relationships are based on equality.
It’s important to ensure that you don’t treat your partner as if their feelings don’t matter. Their feelings shouldn’t come second to yours but rather be just as important.
3. Build a romantic friendship: Romance isn’t the only important thing in a relationship. Friendship is just as important. Think of your partner as your closest friend with whom you share interests and hobbies. Having game nights, going to the movies and doing things you both enjoy will help you in building this friendship with your partner. Don’t be shy to share moments and experiences with your partner as you would with your friend. These relationships build trust, loyalty and open communication.
4. Your relationship should be a partnership: In a partnership, neither party is more important than the other. In order for a romantic partnership to work, the “me-first” mentality will have to go out the door.
You can create a partnership with your significant other by:
- Taking time to get to know each other’s friends and family.
- Having conversations about what’s going on in their lives.
- Consulting each other before making big decisions or purchases.
- Having an equal part in building your future.
- Helping each other out where you can.
Keep Your Relationship In Proportion
To ensure that your relationship is proportional, it is imperative that you work together and spend time getting to know each other. Treat each other with respect and offer your partner equal opportunities as those you are given. Do not withhold love and affection when your partner needs it. Take time to get to know them and ask them about their daily life. This guarantees relationship success.
